22 Of Dolly Parton's Best And Funniest Zingers From Over The Years
22 Of Dolly Parton's Best And Funniest Zingers From Over The Years
Monica TorresSat, September 5, 2026 at 11:00 AM UTC
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Dolly Parton, the universally beloved country music legend who died on Aug. 25, was a genius songwriter, generous philanthropist ― and she was also profoundly funny.
Parton had a way with words beyond her award-winning songs. She often used wry, self-deprecating humor and her magnetic charm to her advantage.
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Parton knew people were judging her towering blonde wigs, big chest and flashy bejeweled style, and she was quick to make herself the punchline of a joke before anyone else could.
“I know people make fun of me. All these years, people think the joke has been on me but it’s actually been on the public,” she told journalist Barbara Walters in a 1977 interview. “I know exactly what I’m doing…I make more jokes about myself than anybody.”
When asked in a 1980 press conference whether she got tired about jokes on her bust size, she quipped: “I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made ’em up myself.”
Parton’s quick one-liners became part of her legend. She famously said, “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap,” as her character in the 1982 musical comedy, “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,” and would also coin it as one of her many “Dollyism” catchphrases her fans loved.
Life: 22 Of Dolly Parton's Best And Funniest Zingers From Over The Years
Here are 19 additional of her best zingers over the years in her writing and her interviews that showcase her sharp, funny wit:
On her blonde hair
Dolly Parton frequently made her blonde wigs a punchline.David Redfern via Getty Images
“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb — and I’m not blonde either.” ― Dollyism
On her top pet peeve
”Nobody notices I’ve got a great ***, too.” ― “Late Night With David Letterman,” 1995
On her style
Parton had witty comebacks she would use often enough to become “Dollyisms” to her fans.Ron Davis via Getty Images
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“People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair. I don’t know, I’m never there.” ― Dollyism
“It takes a lot of time and money to look this cheap.” ― Dollyism
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“I’ve often made this statement that I would never stoop so low as to be fashionable. That’s the easiest thing in the world to do.” ― Interview with Barbara Walters, 1977
“It’s a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I’d be a drag queen.” ― Dollyism
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On her appearance
“I’m very real where it counts, and that’s inside.” ― Interview with Barbara Walters, 1977
“I look totally artificial, but I am totally real, as a writer, as a professional, as a human being. A rhinestone shines just as good as a diamond.” ― Elle magazine, 2019
On what perfect happiness means to her
“A big loaded baked potato and a good book with time to eat it and read it.” ― Vanity Fair magazine, 2012
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On what she does when she gets out of bed in the morning
“I usually get up, put on my clothes, and go home.” ― “LIVE with Kelly and Michael,” 2012
On her unwavering spirit
Many of Parton’s good-natured one-liners were about her appearance.Terry Wyatt via Getty Images
“People say, ‘You always look so happy.’ I say, ‘That’s because of the Botox.’ ― The Nashville Tennessean, 2014
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.” ― Dollyism
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“They think I’m simple-minded because I seem to be happy. Why shouldn’t I be happy? I have everything I ever wanted and more. Maybe I am simple-minded. Maybe that’s the key: simple.” ― “Dolly: My Life And Other Unfinished Business,” 1994
On her success
“I’m a self-made woman and I have the doctor’s bills to prove it.” ― Dollyism
On her secret for a lasting marriage
“I stay gone…He’s a good guy; we know each other so well. I know every line in his face, and he knows every hair in my wig.” ― “Today” show interview, 2014
On her advice to college students
“I usually try not to give advice. Information, yes, advice, no. But, what has worked for me may not work for you. Well, take for instance what has worked for me. Wigs. Tight clothes. Push-up bras.” ― University of Tennessee commencement speech, 2009
On receiving an honorary doctorate
“Just think, I am Dr. Dolly! So when people say something about ‘Double-D,’ they will be thinking of something entirely different.” ― Statement after receiving honorary doctorate, 2009
On her blessings
“I count my blessings more than I count my money, but I need to count my money, too.” ― ABC News interview with Robin Roberts, 2019
On how she’d like to be remembered in 100 years
“Boy, she looks great for her age.” ― Interview with Barbara Walters, 1982
The original version of this story was published on HuffPost at an earlier date.
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